Sunday, October 31, 2010

Through Their Eyes

I am wired to be able to get inside other people. It has been as much a curse as it has been a blessing, at least until I learned that it was my responsibility to "manage" my gift. In other words, I had to learn to "get out" of people once I "got in" them.

One of the ways this gift manifests itself is that I am able to get inside children and see life the way they see it. This is one of the reasons I adore children. I love the way they experience life. Little people live in the moment and their life is full of wonders and they are totally unselfconscious.

It dawned on me one day that I don't have to be with a child to see life through their eyes. I can imagine I am a child and I can imagine seeing life for the first time - full of wonder. Is this part of what Jesus means when He says that we experience the abundant life by becoming like a child?

Blessing Our Homelands

http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/The-Von-Trapp-Singers-Perform-Edelweiss-Video_2/topic/oprahshow

You’ll have to forgive me, but when I watch this video clip, the Spirit of God just leaps within me with all that this symbolizes to me – beauty, music, love, family, fun, kindness, joy, and did I say beauty? And children and their precious spirits and hardship and patience and dignity and the passage of time. When our spirits try to contain all of “this”, we call it worship, because we don’t know what else to do with all our emotion. I’m just so aware that oh so soon, I’ll leave this multidimensional world full of wonders and I’ll say, “Oh God, I couldn’t contain it all!” May we all bloom and grow and bless our “homelands” forever.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

There All Along

The view outside my bedroom window glows in an unusual way in the fall. It must have something to do with the types of trees that grow there and the yellowish glow of the sun - the whole woods seem to turn magical. I just know if I am quiet enough I am bound to see a hobbit darting between the trees.

While waiting for my furry-footed friends to appear, I imagine the change that the leaves are going through. I imagine them experiencing the loss of green chlorophyll and the amazement they must feel as they watch themselves take on colors they had no idea were within.

And with a little more imagination, I see the leaves as a mini redemption story... a mini story of what happens as my "flesh," my false self, recedes. My false self is like the green chlorophyll and underneath are the hidden colors of the Spirit. The hidden colors of the Spirit are exposed only when the false-self-chlorophyll recedes, leaving me with a glory hithertofore unknown, but there all along.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Just Like Me

Eugene Peterson writes, "Anybody who has spent any time at all in the company of Christians knows that none of us whom Paul calls saints is a saint in any conventional sense. Most of us are not exceptionally good or good-looking. It is worse than that. Adultery and addiction, gossip and gluttony, arrogance and propaganda, sexual abuse and self-righteousness are as likely to occur, even flourish, in congregations of Christians as in any school or college, any bank or army, any government or business. Still, Paul doesn't hesitate to name these men and women in his congregations as saints."

I'm growing more content to flourish in the company of these kinds of "saints" - they sound just like me!

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Joy in Anticipation

So I am mulling again over the verse in Psalms where the talking sheep says, "He prepares a table before me in the presence of my enemies." (He prepares food for me, even though I can see the enemies that threaten my existence even as I receive His nourishment.) And I am envisioning the preparing part. I am envisioning God having me in mind when He chooses the color of the table cloth. I am envisioning God having me in mind when He chooses the flat ware, and I am envisioning God having me in mind when He chooses the food. As He is preparing a "table before me," He is imagining my response and He is imagining our time together and His joy rises up in the imagining. So His enjoyment of me begins long before the picnic is spread in the pasture and long before I arrive on the scene.

Just like I prepare yogurt for my granddaughter and begin to enjoy her as I prepare for her (even before she arrives), just like God prepared a world for me and began to enjoy me as He prepared for me (even before I arrived), just as the Shepard prepares food for the sheep and begins to enjoy His time with the sheep (even before the sheep arrives), so God prepares many "chance" encounters for me to catch glimpses of Him each day and as He does so, begins to enjoy me in His imaginings of our times together.

With Me In Mind (and Heart)

So I go to the store with my granddaughter in mind. I go and buy a certain type of yogurt in a certain size container and I put it in a certain place in the refrigerator, all in anticipation of her finding it and reaching for it and eating it and in anticipation of me being there to enjoy her little world. So I begin enjoying my granddaughter long before she actually arrives in my house.

Maybe this was what it was like for God as He formed the world (in what ever way He formed it). Maybe He formed it with me in mind. And maybe, as He formed it, He began to imagine me in it and maybe He began to imagine me enjoying His world and maybe He began to imagine us enjoying it together - long before I arrived on the scene.


It's Okay

My life is chock full of oughts and shoulds. Hardly a minute goes by that a should-thought or an ought-thought doesn't tap on my shoulder. "I ought to be more out-going like so and so; I ought to be more pro-active like so and so. I ought to be more embracing of that judgmental relative; I ought to be like my son who gets an incredible amount of work done; I ought to have learned that lesson years ago; I ought to be more mature; I ought to be more adept at confronting and of course the ultimate . . . I ought not to think ought thoughts!" And did I mention that the result of these casual thoughts are that they are very happily draining?

So I go back to my Good-Tender-Kind-Endearing-Embracing-Adoring-Respectful Truth and I hear Him say, "Sweetie, it is okay that you are not more out-going, more pro-active, more productive, behind in learning lessons, not confrontational and think ought thoughts. It is simply, okay. I like you. I enjoy you. In fact, I enjoy you a lot. Remember, there is only One Good and you are not Him and I never want you to be. An inadequate-incomplete-behind-you is totally fine with me. " Then He pats me on the bum and says, "Now go have a great day, you-adorable-child-you!"

An Unharsh Truth

I buy a special yogurt that I know my granddaughter likes. I put it in a place in the refrigerator that I know she can reach and the yogurt is in a size that she can feed herself from. All these things make her happy. It makes her happy that she knows where to go to get yogurt and it makes her happy that she can reach for it herself and it makes her happy that she can feed herself.

And as I am putting the yogurt away this morning, I am anticipating all the little noises she makes when she is happy. I am anticipating enjoying her ... enjoying her little life. And of course, I am mulling over how God enjoys me ... enjoying my life and how He must anticipate my enjoyment as He arranges things that He knows I will enjoy.

As I walk towards Truth, Truth is much more good and tender and kind and endearing and embracing and adoring and respectful than I ever knew. No wonder He hides Himself until we can receive Him.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

In The Presence of My Enemies

If I ever write a book, I'm going to call it' "In The Presence of My Enemies". All of my life happens in the presence of my enemies. If I had not been able to find life in the presence of my enemies, I would never have found life.

My circumstances (my enemies) today are worse than they were 10 years ago, yet I have spent my afternoon yodeling endless Enya melodies to the Lord while folding laundry and cooking supper and washing dishes.

Sometimes I feel like there is a universe inside of me that is going to expand until I burst with exuberance. Life, in the presence of my enemies, couldn't get any better.

Wiggle Away

I always thought that loving God with all your heart and soul and mind was an exhausting and impossible undertaking until I realized that we will always love God with hearts that are in some stage of being broken and with souls that are in some stage of being dysfunctional and with minds that are in some stage of being unruly. This doesn't seem to bother God. So let us love God with all of our broken hearts and with all of our dysfunctional souls and with all of our unruly minds.

And when we do, we will wiggle with delight in His presence and He will laugh at our wiggling.

Monday, October 18, 2010

As He Is

So I'm watching my young friend and I'm imagining him say in a couple of decades, "You know back then, I thought no one liked me because I was so brilliant. Now I know it was because I was so brittle." I call this the Fallen Arches Syndrome (thanks, Billy Long). The Fallen Arches Syndrome is when you mistake a weakness for a strength (as in a fallen arch that is mistaken for a bulging muscle, a stronger than normal foot, instead of a weak muscle that has collapsed).

And then I am surmising, ... well what happens if God decides not to ever address that part of his personality. After all, we all die with "things un-addressed". And I am thinking, so maybe I need to enjoy him as he is with the understanding that God may or may not address this "flaw". In other words, even after he grows up, he still might be the same in this area - so maybe I better find a way to enjoy him as he is, as this might be all that he ever is.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Tailor-Made Salvation

Jesus is so interesting. Three different people ask God the same question (how do I inherit eternal life) and He gives 3 different answers and none of them are "Receive Jesus as your personal savior." We have been taught that there is only 1 way but Jesus didn't seem to have gotten the same message we were given.

Listen to these three different answers. To one (Matthew 19), He says to obey the Law and then proceeds to quote parts of the 10 Commandments, to another (Luke 10), He says to love God and your neighbor, and to another (John 3) he says to be born again.

Our linear minds say, well, which is it? After all, this is a pretty important question ... after all, there can (logically) be only 1 answer! But instead of there being only 1 answer that fits all, maybe each salvation is tailor made to the one who does the questioning. Maybe our salvation is more tailor made than we know.

A Casual (Eternal) Life

Again, I am intrigued by the Luke 10 passage of the Good Samaritan. I am intrigued because the Samaritan was portrayed as being almost casual in his helping the victim of a robbery. The good deed appeared to have been almost woven seamlessly into his everyday life. He seemed to scarcely miss a beat and he certainly didn't quit his job to fix the Jericho road. No heroics here.

What I'm hearing is that those who "inherit Eternal Life" don't have to stand out or be heroic or special or exceptional (just an aware business man)or belong to the right church or belong to the right political party or be smart or have given his money away to the poor or be anything. He just listened to his heart, helped someone in his path and went about his business.

And God says that this man was inheriting Eternal Life by listening to his heart and helping someone in his path. Hmmmmm.

Sorta Like the Wind

"Jesus answered, 'I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying, "You must be born again." The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.'"

Would it be improper to surmise from this analogy of the Spirit being like the wind, that just as the wind blows again and again and again, so, we must be born again and again and again? Each of my being Born Agains, feels like a birthing experience. I watch(?) feel the wind and I feel it again and again and again. And I watch my spiritual walk, and it feels like I experience spiritual rebirths again and again and again, sorta like the wind.

Eternal Life Now?

So in answer to the Expert of the Law's inquiry on "what must I do to inherit eternal life?," Jesus says to love your neighbor. He then proceeds to describe a scenario in which a business man on the way to work, comes across a person in need and meets that need. And I am thinking, "Hmmmm, I wonder if that man was aware that he was inheriting eternal life while he was helping that man on the way to work? I wonder if eternal life is a lot like "normal" life? I wonder if we miss eternal life because we think that if it is not accompanied by bells and whistles, then it is not eternal life? I wonder if we can purposely live the normal life with the understanding that this also might be what eternal life is like?"

Friday, October 15, 2010

A Better God?

God and I have this agreement - it was never a formal agreement - it was more like a "knowing". This agreement, this knowing was this: "Robin, if you want to know Me, if want to know my heart towards you and others, watch how you relate to your granddaughter; watch how you feel towards your grand daughter."

And so I do. And here is what I am finding. I love to do what she loves to do. So if she loves to discover how to stack rings on a stick, I love watching her. If she loves wandering in our drive way, then I love to follow her in her wanderings. If she loves to discover that the curb makes a wonderful seat, then I love discovering that with her.

That is a far cry from what I was taught God loved. I was taught that He decided what I was to love and then I would be punished if I disagreed. I think I like this God better.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Home-Grown (Groan) Theories

I have all these Home Grown (or is that groan) Theories that work for me. One of those theories is that perhaps, the Big Bang Theory was not only true for the physical world, but also true for the spiritual/psychological/emotional world. It works like this ... God, when They created Mankind, took Themselves and split Themselves into 16 different categories (at least, according to the Myers Briggs Profile). So each category became a little Piece of God and they then were placed in a circle around God. As a result, for each type of person to grow and to become healthy and to be whole, they have to return their Piece to God, who is in the middle. In order to do this, they have to walk towards their polar opposite.

For example, those of us who intuitively plan for the future and mull over the past, have to learn to live for the moment and to enjoy all the frivolities of life (their polar opposite). And those of us that intuitively live for the moment and enjoy all the frivolities of life, have to learn to consider the future and acknowledge the past (their polar opposite). When both decide to grow, they will walk towards their polar opposite, they will find the Other and they will find God, at least, according to my Home-Grown Theory.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

The Price of "After"

I've always loved before-and-after stories and before-and-after pictures. Maybe that love for before-and-after was one of the reasons I was comfortable with Christianity - the eternal promise of an "after" for every "before". What I wasn't prepared for was the price an "after" can exact.

Somewhere in my little pea brain, I must have assumed that by my 5th decade, I would have dealt with most of the major "befores" and would be luxuriating in a life well lived. Instead, I am finding (hitherto-unknown-to-me)"befores" that have infected my cells, invaded my pores, and enveloped the air I breath like a fog. How can this be? I am drop-jaw mute in the face of this revelation.

So as I inch towards tentatively acknowledging that I had it all wrong - that my blacks could be whites and my whites could be black, I take a deep breath and think, "I might want to get use to this - this might be the price one pays if one wants to keep having 'afters'."

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Always Liked - Sometimes Stupid

Hal, on the TV program, "Malcolm in the Middle," was having a bad day and said, "God doesn't like us, but that doesn't mean we're bad!" We all had a chuckle - it was such an unexpected declaration. But on a more serious note, I would contend the opposite, that God does like us, but that doesn't mean we're good. In fact, Jesus said (not in plain English but in plain Aramaic), there is only One who is always good. (And He could have added "and it ain't you, babe," but He didn't). Which is why, when some of us are stupid, we should be resisted.

In other words, it is okay to resist people that God likes. Just because God likes them doesn't mean that we can't like them too ... and resist them.

Is Mercy Unjust?

So . . . is mercy unjust?

Justice depends on facts. Sometimes we don't have all the facts. It's like my pastor said to me, "You have good insight when you have all the facts, it's just sometimes you don't have all the facts." Maybe when we judge God's mercy as being unfair - maybe we just don't have all the facts.

Guess who has all the facts?!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Generosity Beyond the Pale of Sanity

I've been thinking about God's generosity in the way He has mercy. And I've been thinking about the story Jesus told about the Business Owner who paid all of his workers the same, whether they worked 8 hours or 1 hour. Being the practical person that I am, I feel like tearing my hair out whenever I read that story. I mutter things to the Owner like, "Just wait until tomorrow and see how many workers show up at 8 and how many workers show up at 4, etc." In other words, I am offended by what I consider the Owner's stupidity, His insanity. His response to those who muttered like I muttered was, "Are you offended because I am generous?"

But what I call insane, God calls generous. God told a story about money (knowing the power of money and the emotion connected to that power) in order to highlight how we are offended by His generosity in showing mercy. We are offended that he likes Nazis as well as Jews; that He likes Democrats as well as Republicans; that he likes liberals as well as conservatives; that he likes sinners as well as saints; that He likes prisoners as well as law-abiders; that he likes adulterers as well as the faithful, etc. As I said before, we tend to be offended by the generousness of His mercy.