Carried

I rediscovered a prophecy I was given some years ago when I was in a charismatic church. The prophecy said "There's been an indignity by a family member . . . and God is going to free you from a sense of unforgiveness or malice." I did not know at the time that that indignity would last for 20 years and the lack of malice would be an ongoing struggle to keep.

I had forgotten it was a gift.

I had been working hard. But I think the reality was similar to that of a child on a float being pulled by her daddy but thinking it is her paddling that is getting her over the waves.

Yes, I had been paddling, but the bigger reality was that I was being carried.

(hmmm, wonder if that means I can relax)

Change!

Life is truly a hoot. So I've been given a vision of a different way of Being and I have never been so off-kilter as I have been recently. My neck is stiff, my words are stiff, my attitude is stiff, my breathing is stiff, my reactions are stiff. Oh my gosh, give me a break- does everything have to stare me in the face all at once and say, "You Need To Change"!

Here is the nice thing. No one cares whether I change or not. Only me. Within every group of people, there will always be some that like me, some that don't like me and some that don't know (or care) that I exist. And none of those groups care whether I change or not (but for different reasons).

And by the way - those same 3 groups exist in everyone's life, including God's.

Be . . . Just a Little Differently

I'm always amazed that others do not seem to find Truth painful. If I were to act out encountering Truth, you would see me choking and sputtering and squirming and backing off.

I am blessed to have experienced 2 groups who have offered me Truth. The first group offers me Truth by accepting without judgment, who I am, with all my foibles, with all my potentially irritating or excessive reactions - things about me that don't ring true. I am enfolded, regardless.

The second group that offered me Truth did so by just Being, and in the Being, I was aware that I was not . . . being . . . I was Mis-being . . . I was missing . . . .Being. Again, there was no judgment, but there was painful awareness.

But the solution was gracious and again, non judgmental. What was offered was, perhaps you can learn to channel your energy differently - perhaps you can learn to breathe differently - perhaps you can learn to pause more.

None of the . . . .You-Are-Fatally-Flawed fears . . .  just perhaps you can learn to Be . . . just a little differently.