Hold It Lightly

I watch myself with gentle humor, trying to make sense of life. Again, I find myself on Amazon, perusing books. As one book about the victims of WWII leads to another book, I am learning that I'm not real sure what it means to be righteous. I read about swindlers and womanizers and cheats who saved untold number of Jews (i.e. Schindler). I read about people who were hated because they were thought to be collaborators. Later, it was learned that they were "non-heroic-ally" and within the system, doing what they could to help their fellow man. And then I've read about people who sacrificed everything, literally, in order to save others (far beyond any Good Samaritan example). In my little system of life, if you were one of those people, that meant that since you were so incredibly noble, you would go on to have a good life. But not so. Many of those people went on to broken marriages, boring jobs, and hurt children. I also read about religious people who had whole families survive intact, mainly because they stayed far away from any heroic "antics." In my system of life, their offspring would not be blessed or honored. Yet, Nouwen grew up in such a family and became one of the more beloved spiritual writers of our time. I don't quite know what to make of all of this other than the fact that it might be the better part of wisdom to hold my judgments, perceptions, and conclusions lightly. I cannot not have judgments, perceptions, and conclusions, but I can choose to hold them lightly. (Is that called humility?)