Fascination

Growing is about to kill me.
And there is a very good reason that is true.
The reason is because it IS killing me or at least it is killing my ego.

And what I wasn't aware of before, is how much I love my ego; how much I really do want THAT to be the Real Me; how I would love for all the shadowy parts to go away and the good parts to stay and for that to be ME.

Why else do I so resist others experiencing my shadow side? Oh, I have  no problems talking to people about my shadow side, but for them to experience it "just about kills me".

Why is that?

Because I am identifying with my ego - that is the only Me and the only Me there is!

Or maybe not.

Maybe the time comes when we cease to be fascinated with the good and bad sides of our ego and we become fascinated with Another. Maybe at that point our egos just fade away, sorta like the shell of the acorn.