Bad Feelings Equal Bad Person?

One of the hardest things I have to do is feel my feelings - at least the unpleasant feelings. So I watch jealousy rise up and insecurity. I watch myself responding to situations like a teenager - the worst indictment of all. Then comes Friend Shame and we're off to the races.

But because I am my best friend, at some point, Robin steps in and takes charge. She reminds me that I am not Jealous and my name is not Insecure. Yes, I "have" jealous feelings and yes, I "have" insecure feelings; but my feelings are not my identity. I am not my feelings. And it is okay to experience unpleasant feelings - they are not an indication of anything. If anything, they are an indication of which areas would benefit from extra soothing. In other words, bad feelings do not mean I am a bad person.

I calm down, comfort myself, soothe myself, forgive myself, and embrace myself. I am secure.