Thursday, December 31, 2009

Broken bodies/broken spirits

I just read an article about Sarah who was completely paralyzed (couldn't even talk) as a result of falling out of a back pack at the age of 11 months. Over the years, her limbs became distorted and she had to be carried everywhere. The parents took loving care of her for 34 years, until she died. I cried as I felt overwhelmed with God's compassion for Sarah and all who are like her.Not only did I feel God's compassion for deformed and disjointed bodies, but also for all our deformed, disjointed, and spastic spirits. I can imagine that most of our spirits resemble Sarah's little body that was traumatized by tragedy. We see broken bodies, but God sees broken spirits as well. His arms and heart must ache to hold and embrace our deformities and to whisper sweet secrets Known only to us, the spastic ones.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Again and again and again

I have a theory and that theory is that inherent in our giftings are destructive elements that are unique to that gifting. In other words, if your gifting is A (A), then you have also given negative A (- A). For instance, if your gifting is empathy, you will have to overcome your tendency to be absorbed by other people's personalities, thereby losing your "sense of self." So when Scripture says we are to be Overcomers, it is my theory that this is what we are to overcome. Failure to overcome can result in potential destruction at worst or being neutralized at best. It is also my theory that this "overcoming" will take potentially decades and will come around and around at different levels and different intensities. Does this disturb God? I think not. After all, this is the very thing that keeps us coming to Him again and again and again. He is not in in hurry because these are the things that press us into Him. He sits there and purrs because He is being cuddled with.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Too Wonderful

Imagine this scenario . . . a dog and a flea on a dog's back. Now imagine if you were the flea and God was the dog. Imagine praying, "Dear Dog, please reveal Yourself to me!." How in the world would Dog reveal Himself to you?

Seriously, we put God in impossible situations. Here we have fleas who are on the dog, who then ask the dog to reveal himself to them! How is the dog ever suppose to answer that prayer? (Run in circles? - "Look, here I am!")

In the same way, our hearts truly are too small to absorb the wonderfulness of God. God must be very careful with His wonderfulness lest He destroy us with Himself. Hence the lifetime of preparations and the lifetime of kneading our hearts so He can very carefully reveal Himself in us and to us. He will not prematurely reveal Himself to unprepared hearts lest we are destroyed by His wonderfulness.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Humble yourself

I am so grateful for opportunities to humble myself.

It . . . just . . . plain . . . feels . . . good.

I can feel my arrogance, arrogance that is so enticing that it feels empowering and deserved.

The "look-at-me-aren't-I-wonderful" scenes are just too much for me and surely for everyone around me.

So I lay face down on my newly carpeted bedroom floor, groan, lay it all out before God, get up, put my arms around my arrogant self, squeeze tight, and as I leave, pat myself on the bottom and say, "You go girl! Us three, you, me and God - we're good!"